May is known as Maternal Mental Health Month. So, this one is for moms.

I could give you all the statistics, the research, the knowledge, and the information (and I will throughout this post). But first, let’s talk about you, Mama.

To all the mothers out there - I see you. In the midst of it all, I see you.

You want to be present. You don’t want to miss a moment with your family. Yet, you dream about what you might do if you got to take a break or get a full night’s sleep.

You want to be immersed in family life, your career, your hobbies. You want to feel like there is balance in your life. Yet, on any given day, you feel like a failure when you fall short on any one thing.

And the guilt. The guilt is so strong. You Mama, you can probably find just about any reason to guilt yourself.

The things you hold in a day are much greater than just your babies.

You hold the thoughts,

“Am I doing enough for them?”

“Am I doing something wrong?”

You hold the worries,

“Are they okay?”

“What time will they be home?”

“Are they safe with their friends?”

You hold the schedule,

“I need to clean the house, file the taxes, and don’t forget it’s bath night, what are we having for supper, don’t forget about that doctor’s appointment, or to register for soccer.”

You hold the love,

“Come here honey, let Mommy see. Do you need a hug?”

It has been said there is no greater reward than becoming a parent. What is less talked about, however, are all the unexpected changes, shifts, and challenges you’d go through as you become a mother.

Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) occur for about 1 in 5 new mothers. It is the most common complication to occur following childbirth (Vigod, 2021). Perinatal mental health disorders may include depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and psychosis (Tomasi & Charlebois, 2021). PMADs are different from the baby blues, which are commonly experienced by about 80 per cent of new mothers and subside in the first couple of weeks after birth (Pacific Post-Partum Support Society, 2014).

There are several risk factors of PMADs that may include but aren’t limited to a history of mental health issues for you or a family member, poor social support, stress, physical problems during pregnancy, and trauma during pregnancy or childbirth. However, PMADs may also be experienced by mothers without any previous risk factors present (Robinson, 2021).

A person whose partner or loved one is suffering can help by providing validation – that perinatal mental illness is real, common, that it is not a person’s fault that they have developed it, and that having this illness does not mean that they are a bad parent. Further, a person should never be made to feel that they are not getting better because “they are not trying hard enough.” Treatment may take time and may require various treatment options alone or in combination, so it is important to reassure someone that although the road to recovery may feel slow, they can indeed recover. (Vigod, 2021).

There are several avenues of support that may help mothers, depending on the level of assistance they may need. Support might include self-help books, education, social support, a healthy diet, safe and healthy movement, and an environment that supports time for rest and sleep (as much as possible). If that isn’t enough, counselling services may also be sought as well as support from a family physician or psychiatrist (Van Lieshout et al., 2021).

So, the question becomes, how can we help new mothers survive and thrive?

Perinatal mental health is so much more than the absence of illness. Perinatal mental health is being allowed to grow and thrive in your environment, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. By supporting mothers to be well, we are supporting families and children to also be well.

New mothers need support, guidance, and unconditional love that comes from a place of compassion, non-judgment, and kindness. Call your friend who’s a new mom. Ask her how she’s doing - how she’s really doing. Drop off a coffee, a meal, or a self-care package on her doorstep. Send her a text letting her know you are thinking of her. If she’s feeling ready for a visit, make it a short one or offer to clean, cook, or hold the baby while she rests, sleeps, or takes a shower. There might not be mental health challenges for every new mom but there will inevitably be challenges. And by offering support, she’ll remember it. And she’ll remember who she can talk to when the challenges of motherhood arise.

If you, or someone you know, is suffering from a PMAD or is simply a new parent looking to build their village, the above supports may help. You can also reach out to Ehrlo Counselling Services in Regina at 306-751-2467 or via the website https://ehrlo.com/counselling/home. Ehrlo Counselling Services offers in-person, telephone, and virtual modalities in order to break down barriers and increase community support. Insurance plans are accepted, and a sliding scale and pro bono services may be offered as needed.

Written by Amanda DeMarsh, MSW, RSW, BA. Psych., Clinical Social Worker at Ehrlo Counselling Services in Regina. Amanda is a registered social worker who specializes in perinatal mental health and trauma. For appointment inquiries, she can be reached via the contact information above.

References

 

Pacific Post Partum Support Society (Ed.). (2014). Postpartum depression and anxiety: A self-

help guide for mothers (7^th ed.).

Robinson, G.E. (2021). Perinatal mental Health. In Canadian Perinatal Mental Health

Collaborative, You are not alone: An anthology of mental health stories from conception

to postpartum (pp. 27-33). Wintertickle Press.

Tomasi, P., Charlebois, J. (2021). Virtual symposium : Strategic approaches to perinatal mental

health in Canada. Canadian Perinatal Mental Health Collaborative.

Van Leishout, R.J., Merza, D., & Haber-Evans, E. (2021). Psychotherapy and perinatal mental

health. In Canadian Perinatal Mental Health Collaborative, You are not alone: An

anthology of mental health stories from conception to postpartum (pp. 137-141). Wintertickle Press.

Vigod, S. (2021). Perinatal Mental Health. Women’s College Research Institute.

Vigod, S. (2021). What is perinatal mental health? In Canadian Perinatal Mental Health

Collaborative, You are not alone: An anthology of mental health stories from conception

to postpartum (pp. 75-83). Wintertickle Press.