Kids do well if they want to vs. kids do well if they can.

This idea was first introduced to me during a training session by Ranch TCI instructor and Director of Clinical Services in the North, Vance Heaney.

In the philosophy – kids do well if they want to – it’s the beliefs that kids know when they are doing something wrong so a reward/punishment system like groundings or taking away allowance will work.

Break a lamp – lose your allowance. Do well on a test and get gas money for the car. It’s just a matter of finding the right carrot for the right stick.

A variation of this system is the points or star system. For example - when kids do their chores they receive stars or points but if they do something wrong they lose points and rewards.

This system is sound except if you believe in the second theory – kids do well if they can.

Impulsive outbursts, aggression, running away, self injury and defiance are all pain based behaviors that our clients exhibit.

Our clients are survivors of some of the most horrible situations most people couldn’t even imagine. The skills they have learned are survival skills rather than some of the behavior skills other teenagers have acquired, like logical thinking in mid-crisis.

The reward punishment system doesn’t work for our kids and that is the reason they are at the Ranch so we can help them get the skills they need so they can do well.