New blogger Evan King has been at the Ranch for five and a half years and is currently in Australia completing his field practicum experience for his MSW program through the University of Regina. His placement is with a community-based agency which works with homeless youth in a clinical setting.

Alright, it was a good couple weeks at my placement and it’s going well with some positive learning experiences with the young people in Adelaide. Since I was feeling comfortable with the work here, I felt like I should reward myself with:

1) a glass of wine

2) ten minutes on Pinterest

3) and a ticket to a local festival (www.lanewayfesival.com).

I was excited to see some of the acts that I was familiar with such as Lorde, Frightened Rabbit, and Kurt Vile; but I also was excited about going to a local music festival and the great opportunity to discover new music, and in particular, discover popular music in Australia. I met many people who were amazing and friendly and open to my lack of knowledge of the local music scene - but let’s not focus on them – just know that they were lovely.

Apart from them was a handful of the crowd who was not a fan of ignorant festival go-ers, such as myself who are not aware of the ‘ins’ and ‘outs’ of their favourite musicians.  In fact, at times they were actually quite pretentious about the whole situation. That’s fine. I’m pretentious too. I actually found a way to over- pretenticize (not found in dictionary) the pretentious. I say when life gives you pretentious lemons, make the beverage formerly known as lemonade and sip it from a limited edition tea cup. Here are a few ways to over-pretenticize (soon to be found in the dictionary) the more pretentious festival go-ers.

1) Dilute knowledge with pride of discovering the band before anyone

This is a good approach, especially as a beginner. It is easy to execute with confidence. Someone approaches you and asks for you to express your excitement for an artist you do not know. Play it cool and reply nonchalantly “oh yea, so excited, when I saw them on the line-up it was a deciding factor to come”. They may carry on about their new album and about a few songs. Spit in the face of that knowledge with “yea, I’ve listened to it a couple times, I’m really just into their old stuff…like before their first recorded album”. Continue on about low-key shows that they use to play at local establishments and how you lost interest when they started to play more “mainstream” shows.

2) Dilute knowledge with connecting the band to a personal relationship

Sometimes it’s tough to feign knowledge. You get a mind block, that’s alright, it happens to everyone. In these situations it is best to take an emotional route.

Picture this, you get accosted by someone and you start discussing the band. They ask if you prefer their old music or their new. You’re not new to this rodeo so you indicate to them that you prefer their old stuff. They ask you why and you start to get lost for words; you don’t want them to find out your ignorance but you’re in too deep. Proceed with delivering a story about an old partner who went to Peru and never came back and how you use to listen to (band name here) all the time. Use many romantic stories of walking hand in hand. If you’re feeling bold incorporate some erotic stories that lack taste. You will have to remove yourself from this situation until the conversation has an opportunity to return to specifics about the bands’ music.  At some point during your long and drab story, pause for a couple seconds and somberly state, “I’m sorry, I just have to be alone when I experience these guys”, and walk away.

3) Dilute knowledge by indicating the band is an inspiration for your own art

And lastly, my favourite, use a type of art that you are best familiar with (writing, music, paint, drawing, ect.). Advise the festival go-er, “If it wasn’t for these guys, I would have never completed my second book of poetry, such an inspiration”.

This will often result in either:

a) the individual asking you to discuss your art or

b) the individual is humbled with admiration and the tables turn - they are now trying to impress you with their knowledge of the band.

If they ask you about your art, try to discuss the most absurd and abstract theme you can imagine. Talk about how you amalgamated dolphins and coleslaw in a poem to paint the picture of a dystopian future. Describe how you used laundry detergent as a metaphor for polygamy. The limits are endless, really.  If the individual then proceeds to try and impress you with their knowledge of the band you are coasting. Reply short and confidently, some to get you going: “yea, they really left that song up to creative interpretation”; “oh yea, they definitely were more attuned to their true selves as musicians during that album”; or “Ah, I love that song with a good glass of port”.  You can also try to relay the knowledge that the individual is telling you about the band to another individual in the crowd. The feeling of undeserved acceptance surrounding you is just delightful.

For those who are going to give it a go, good luck. Remember to have fun, it’s not a competition, it’s for your own twisted enjoyment. Don’t hesitate to contact me for more direction if you are lost. If you are still struggling with any of the techniques, one to one sessions can be provided at a cost.

On a completely unrelated note, if you’re looking to fill your iPod with new music, some great acts from the festival were Vance Joy, HAIM, and The Jezabels. Have a listen.